How It Should Have Happened
by GrayShoedWonder
Summary: Basically a retelling of the season two episode "The Nightmare Begins", how I thought it should have gone... It also functions as a prequel to my story "Morgana's Revenge", but you don't have to read that first to read this one.
1. Chapter 1: The Nightmare Begins

**So here's the deal: This works as a prequel to "Morgana's Revenge" and "Morgana's Quest", but can be read on its own. It's basically what I thought should have happened at the start of season two. I do use a MASSIVE amount of dialogue from the episode "The Nightmare Begins", which took a lot of wrangling to get in, let me tell you! It begins during that same episode, so if it seems a little repetative in the beginning, I'm sorry. Also, don't expect some sort of overarching plot. There wasn't really one to be had, given what I've already written... :)**

**Please enjoy!**

CHAPTER ONE: The Nightmare Begins

_Her dreams were once more dark and painful. She sought a light, anything that would show her where she was going. Her feet pounded on as she fled from something behind her. It never stopped, it never slowed down, and neither could she if she wanted to live. Once she stumbled as her foot caught in a dip in the floor. Her ankle twisted painfully but she continued on anyway, trying to ignore the pain. The only thing she knew was that her life depended on it. And so she sought a light, anything that would guide her way back to where she was safe._

On the bed, her eyes flicker open, but instead of shining a soft gray, they glitter dangerously gold. The candle beside her lights up.

_ There is a twisting deep in her heart, like she is reaching within her for something. A light sprang to life beside her, and she could see her way through the dark passageways. Somehow, she knew that the light had come from that deep place in her. The corridors twisted and turned, and she varied her pattern. Then the light went out, and she was lost once more. Terror gripped her heart._

The light is extinguished by her maid, and moved across the sits below the deep red curtain overlooking the courtyard, like a sleeping sentinel waiting to be awoken.

_ She drew the light back again._

And the candle relights, a flickering glow in the otherwise dark room.

_ She could see her way, but then she turned around. The light couldn't penetrate the blackness there, and before she could scream all her breath was stolen from her, leaving her lungs empty, her chest hollow and searching for any air. She needed a place to get away, a safe place, but she knew that she was at the end of the line. A crashing roar sounded from the pitch black and she screamed._

She wakes with a start and a cry and her eyes are drawn to the lit candle across from her. It is tall and bright below the red curtain. Her eyes will not move from it, no matter how she tries to tear them from the sight. The horror of the dream is still upon her, making her heart beat faster than she had ever imagined it could, pounding against her ribs as though attempting to escape from its bone cage.

The dream is recalled to her and she feels the true fear again, from when she knew that she was going to die in the dream, consumed by the impenetrable dark of the shadow. Breath is stolen from her again and in desperation she recalls the light and how she willed it into being. The dancing flame heightens and she feels that it is her fault and that she is causing the flame to grow but she doesn't know how to stop it, how to bring it to an end.

The fire reaches upward with grasping fingers of heat, grabbing for the red cloth, as though it wants to paint it a brighter red than it is already. It takes hold in the embroidered velvet and spreads quickly through the fibers, engulfing it in an inferno of orange light. It is then that Morgana pulls herself from the trance in which she was trapped and fully takes in the scene laid before her. Disbelief etches itself through her soul. Could she have caused this? But then she recognizes the danger, not only of such thoughts, but also of the swiftly expanding blaze. With nothing else to do, she pulls the blankets to her and screams. She screams of her fear of the fire and the death, but also of the thoughts she held about her own relationship to the flames.

###

Morgana had been unable to sleep the entire night, afraid of what she might to in her dreams. Her guardian sent her to see Gaius while he searched for an explanation, fearing that the shock would affect her somehow. Morgana didn't know what to do, but when the physician asked her about the fire, she needed to talk.

"What I don't understand, Morgana, is how the fire started in the first place," Gaius began, clearly fishing for answers that he thought she might have.

"It happened so quick, it was terrifying," she said instead, attempting to pull the words that she needed from the recesses of her fear wracked mind.

"It's all right. You're safe now," he said kindly, but she knew the futility of such a statement. For all that words could kill if used properly and directed at the right person, some were completely useless. The words she would say next though, they were important. They weren't useless.

"You're the only person I've told about my dreams," she said tentatively, desperate to confide in someone, anyone, who might chance to believe her. "I know I can trust you, Gaius."

"Yes of course you can," the old man said, looking down at her with a hand on her shoulder

"It was me," she said, trying not to let her fear show through and failing miserably. "I set the room alight, I started the fire.

"I don't understand, did you knock a candle over-" Gaius began.

"No, no that's not what happened," she interrupted him. "I did it just by looking at it. The flames suddenly leapt higher-" but it was his turn to cut her off.

"It could have been a gust of wind," he said as though he wanted her to stop talking about it despite the fact that it had been he who had initiated the conversation.

But Morgana knew what she had felt. "It wasn't, it was me," she asserted, then paused, gathering herself for what she would have to say next. The words would be damning, terrible evidence against her. If she spoke them they were real. "It was magic." Just saying them made her feel weak. If Uther ever found out- she didn't even want to think of it.

"My child-" Gaius began, but the old affectionate moniker roused her to anger.

"I'm not a child!"

He continued as though she had not spoken, which angered her more. She pushed those feelings away, drawing upon her fear instead. She couldn't decide which feeling was more detestable. "Last night was an accident. It had nothing to do with you. How could it have? I am going to draw you up a fresh remedy that will make you feel better."

She shook her head furiously. Would he not understand? The old physician relied too much on his medicine and thought too little of magic. If he would not see it she didn't know who possibly would. If he would not listen, she didn't know who to turn to.

"I promise. You must trust me," he said, interrupting her before she'd begun to protest out loud. He moved away, leaving her speechless and silent. He would not listen to her or calm her fears. She couldn't confide in anyone. Uther was completely out of the question, and Arthur was his son. Gwen had already been accused falsely of sorcery; she couldn't risk her best friend like that again. So she kept her mouth closed and locked the fear away.

###

Merlin had heard the entire conversation. He couldn't believe that Gaius would brush Morgana off like that, especially at such a difficult time of her life. His own experiences coming to terms with his magic was scary enough; he couldn't imagine what it would have been like if he were the ward of one such as Uther. Later that evening he sat with Gaius in their chambers and decided to broach the topic.

"I was helping to clear out Morgana's chambers earlier," he said. All he got was a little grunt in response. "The window was blown out into the courtyard below." Another grunt. "It's odd, isn't it? If lightning had struck the window like Arthur said, you'd think the glass would fall on the inside of the window." This time there was absolutely no response from the physician. Merlin began to get impatient, and cut straight to his point. "It was magic. You know it was. More importantly, so does she."

Gaius turned to look at Merlin. "Morgana knows nothing for certain." He sounded so final and uncaring that it ripped Merlin's heart to pieces.

"Which makes it even worse! She isn't sure what's happening to her and it's tearing her apart!" Merlin practically shouted.

Gaius responded in kind. "What would you have me do?"

Merlin shook his head in disbelief. "Talk to her. Tell her she'll be okay. Tell her that her powers aren't something to be afraid of." He knew that he wished someone could have been there for him, and he couldn't bear to see Morgana struggle when she didn't have to.

Gaius was adamant on this point though. "I can't."

"Maybe I could speak to her," the young warlock suggested. He knew that he wanted to, desperately, though if someone had asked him why he wouldn't have been able to say. Perhaps it was a friend's love for a friend. Perhaps it was something deeper.

At this, Gaius turned around, disapproval evident on his face. "No Merlin, you can't."

"Why not? I understand what she's going through!" Merlin protested vehemently.

"You must never reveal your secret. Not to anyone."

"But she has magic too! She would not tell on me, I know it. She is more than just one of the court ladies to me Gaius. She's a friend, and I would trust her with my life. I have in the past. Why should now be any different?" Merlin stood up in an attempt to physically express his conviction and rising ire.

"Merlin! I forbid you to speak to her about this. And that is my final word on the matter." Gaius returned to his herbs and medicines, but Merlin knew that the issue was not yet settled, no matter what Gaius told him. He would not let a friend suffer when he had the power to aid them.

###

That evening Morgana sat on the edge of her bed as Gwen bustled around, preparing her room for the night. "Where did those come from?" the lady asked, pointing to a small bouquet of red and white flowers in a blue vase on her table.

"Merlin brought them earlier, while you were sleeping," Gwen said, smiling at her. "It looks like someone's worried about you."

Morgana let her lips curve a little. "He's so sweet."

Gwen moved across the room and sat beside her friend, taking one of her hands. She'd had enough of the small talk. "I can stay if that would make you feel better," she offered, knowing what a traumatic event Morgana had been through.

"You've done so much already," the lady said, running her fingers over her friend's.

"I don't mind," Gwen said reassuringly. She knew that Morgana didn't want to appear weak, but if she was needed, she didn't want to let her down.

"I'll be fine," Morgana said with more resolve than she felt. And when she saw that her maid was not reassured, added "Really." Gwen smiled weakly, giving her hand one last squeeze before standing up to leave. "Gwen," Morgana called after her. "Take the candle." She couldn't risk another fire, especially since she believed that she had caused it. Gwen smiled in understanding, took the candle from the bedside table and left, the light leaving with her. Alone in her dark room, Morgana let out a breath, thankful that it was gone. She didn't know if she'd ever be comfortable sleeping with a candle in her room again.

She settled down, Merlin's flowers on the table the last thing she saw before she shut her eyes for the night. But she couldn't sleep. Fear of what she might do while trapped in her dreams prevented her mind from settling and ever giving her any rest. Thunder cracked just outside her window and she sat up in shock, adrenaline coursing through her veins. Her eyes were still fixed on the vase with the flowers, and she felt a rush of power. The vase exploded, sending flowers and shards of glass flying and causing water to fall in a localized rain over the table. Morgana didn't know what to do, she was so scared of what was happening to her.

In times of nightmare before she had run to Gaius, and so she did now. She moved through the silent castle like a ghost, avoiding the guards who wouldn't have dared to stop her anyway. She was the king's ward, and was completely entitled to move around as she pleased, no matter the time.

When she swung the door open she found Merlin blowing out the candles that dotted the room and lit it with a flickering light. At the sound of the door, he stopped and stood straight, his head turning to look at her.

"Is Gaius here?" she asked, striding purposefully across the floor. Her heels clicked authoritatively against the stone and she tried to hide her fear under command.

"Uh, no, he's not here at the moment," Merlin said. "But he'll be back soon though."

"I need to speak to him. Where is he?" Morgana looked around as though the old man would suddenly jump up from behind a table. He was the only one she had trusted with her dreams and suspicions, and she needed someone to trust.

"He's gone to see the king," Merlin told her. She looked at him, desperation blossoming across her face no matter how she tried to hide it. "What's wrong?"

Looking into his eyes, Morgana wanted nothing more than to confide in him. She opened her mouth, trying to put her feelings into words, then shut it again and turned away. She feared that he was Uther's man and would betray her if she confided in him. Merlin noticed her distress. "You can trust me, Morgana," he said, his voice softer and more intimate than before. Tears were gathering in the corners of her eyes as she turned to look at him again. "You know you can," he encouraged.

"I'm scared, Merlin," she said finally. Her voice shook slightly. "I don't understand anything anymore. I need to know what's happening." She could see that he wanted to help her, wanted to say something that would make her feel better. He knew about what she believed, of that she was sure. "Please." It was almost a whisper, a plead from her deepest soul for his support, for anyone's support.

"Gaius will be back soon, he'll be able to help you," the boy said instead, breaking eye contact.

"No he won't. I don't want anymore remedies. They don't do any good." Morgana took another step forward. She needed him, and she could tell that he needed her too for some reason. At least, he needed to tell her something. For all that Gaius had never told the king, he never really helped her either. His potions never helped; the nightmares came despite them. "It's magic, Merlin," she breathed. Her secret hung there, in the air between them.

"What?"

"I'm your friend, you know I wouldn't make this up," she said quietly, gazing intently at his face. His expression hadn't changed.

"Of course," he said instead, nodding.

"Then you believe me?" she asked, latching onto the hope he had given her with those two frail words. "You think it's magic too?" Frantic with desire for validation, her voice raised in pitch and volume. "Please Merlin. I just need to hear someone say it so I don't have to keep feeling like I'm imagining it," she begged.

Merlin nodded, his blue eyes locked on her gray ones in the dim light of the still flickering candles. Several long moments passed before he finally opened his mouth. "Whatever it is, I will be here for you, however you should need me. We will get you through this."

Relief flooded her body and she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him. Her face pressed against the front of his red shirt as tears escaped the confines of her eyes. His arms encircled her, holding her close. "Thank you," she whispered into the cloth. For a moment she wasn't sure if he had heard her, but then he replied.

"You will be okay, I promise."

###

When Gaius returned from tending to Uther, he found Merlin sitting at one of the tables, rolling a small jar between his hands and looking preoccupied with his thoughts.

"Merlin?" he asked curiously. The boy started at the unexpected noise.

"I was just, um, waiting for, um you to get back," he stuttered, trying to cover up his confusion.

"So you could tell me something?" Gaius pressed.

"Um, yes … no. Um, goodnight!" Merlin stood hastily and backed away. "It's late, I should probably get to bed. Stuff to do in the morning, you know-"

"Merlin. What happened?"

"Nothing! Nothing happened."

The physician arched an eyebrow. "Does this have something to do with Morgana?"

"No!" Merlin looked at Gaius, then relented, knowing that the old man would get the truth out of him eventually. "Yes."

"Merlin! What did you tell her!" Worry replaced annoyance.

"Nothing!"

"You can never reveal your secret to her. Not to anyone. Understand?"

Anger emerged in Merlin's voice. "Why not? She needs someone!"

"This is a kingdom where magic is outlawed! Or have you forgotten that?"

"If not me, then who?" Merlin asked, raising his voice. "The Druids cannot help her; Uther has vowed to destroy them, and all those who sympathize. That would be far more dangerous."

"I can," the physician said, calm settling over him. "As I always have."

"Your remedies don't work, Gaius. And if you do not tell her what is happening, then she will feel like she's going mad. I know exactly how she's feeling right now. It was terrifying for me, and for her it would be worse than that."

"How would you know this?"

"Because I went through the same thing," Merlin responded. "And I will not let her go through it alone."

"Merlin, you cannot get involved in this. No good can come of it."

"No good, huh? How is it not good that she will feel reassured and supported? How is it not good that I will be there to guide her as you have guided me?" Merlin shook his head at Gaius. "You cannot stop me. Nobody can."

**Okay, so that chapter was longer than I usually write... but I had to. Please review! I will love you forever and ever!**


	2. Chapter 2: The Dragon's Call

**Please enjoy! And thank you to everyone who reviewed/alerted/favorited! It means so much to me! :)**

CHAPTER TWO: The Dragon's Call

_Merlin. _

Merlin awoke to the silent voice inside his head. When he realized what it was, he sighed and cursed inwardly. That dratted Dragon! What purpose could there possibly be in calling to him at this hour of the night? The moon rose high over the sleeping city – it must have been past midnight. Pale light poured through the glass panes of his window.

_Merlin._

"All right, all right," the boy groaned to nobody in particular, rolling out of bed and slipping his feet into his worn leather boots. "I'm coming." As his feet beat the worn path down to the Dragon's prison beneath the castle, he couldn't help but think that this must have had something to do with Morgana. She was the only thing of significance that had happened recently. He emerged onto the ledge, the torch casting a small pool of light over him. The Dragon swooped from the darkness and landed on the rock opposite him, brown scales glittering in the flame's luminescence.

"You called?" Merlin asked, somewhat put out.

"Something has happened. Something of significance." The Dragon began, examining a claw as though he had not pulled the young warlock from a sound sleep in the middle of the night.

"Not really," Merlin responded. He thought it best to keep Morgana's power a secret from the Dragon for now. Of course, knowing the Dragon, he already had at least some idea.

"I've lived more than a thousand years, seen civilizations rise and fall. Do not believe that you can lie to me. You have met the witch, the Lady Morgana." The Dragon blinked widely at him.

"She's not a witch!" Merlin protested, almost turning around and leaving. "She's my friend." He swore silently to himself. He had suspected that the Dragon knew, but had lied anyway. That certainly would not gain him any favors. What came next was not unexpected, but it was unwelcome nonetheless.

"She cannot be trusted." The Dragon said this with an air of formality, which only served to irritate Merlin's already slightly frazzled nerves.

"What makes you say that?" He asked defensively.

"It would be better if the witch-"

"Stop calling her that!" Merlin interrupted. He didn't want to hear Morgana referred to like that, as though she was innately evil or corrupt when he knew she was not.

"It would be better if the witch never knew the true extent of her powers." It wasn't so much the words as the pompous and arrogant way in which the beast spoke them that ticked Merlin off. How could the Dragon claim to know so much? He may have lived for eons, but he had no knowledge of human nature if he believed that Merlin would give up on a friend so quickly.

"You're wrong. I know her. She has a good heart."

"You've failed to heed my advice in the past and it brought grave consequences. I warn you not to do so again." The Dragon looked down at him with glittering golden eyes. Merlin knew that they marked him as a creature of magic, kin to himself, but he also knew that the Dragon was not a human and accepted his visions as the irrefutable and unalterable truth. The Dragon's age had convinced him of his own infallibility, but Merlin did not believe that anyone was immune from making mistakes no matter their power or the number of years they had lived. Inside he swore never to become as unchanging and inflexible as the Dragon.

"I won't abandon her. I care too much about her." As he spoke the words, Merlin realized that they were true. He did care, far too much if truth be told.

"If you pursue this course of action, you do so alone."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Fine then. I never wanted your help anyway. All you do is issue cryptic warnings and tell me what I shouldn't do. I don't need you anymore."

And with that ringing condemnation he left the Dragon alone in the dark prison below the castle.

###

The next day passed with almost no extraordinary events. The multitudes of people whom Uther suspected of attacking Morgana were rounded up, but with no evidence and solid alibis all were expected to be freed within the week. Merlin was kept running around after Arthur and his knights all day, and spent a great part of the afternoon polishing armor and sharpening swords on the practice field. It wasn't until after dinner that he got a moment to himself.

"Well," Gaius said, pushing out his bench and standing up. "I need to go see the king. He's been complaining about his shoulder for a couple of days now and I need to take him new medication."

"See you, then," Merlin said, remaining seated so as not to draw attention to himself. The instant the physician left the room, however, he was up. He snatched a sleeping potion from a shelf and set off towards Morgana's chambers. A set of guards at the foot of the stairs stopped him.

"What is your business?" one asked, a little bored.

Merlin showed him the little bottle half full of red liquid that was his excuse for visiting. "Gaius asked me to deliver this to Morgana's chambers. It's her sleeping draft."

"Go on then," the other guard said, and Merlin stepped around them. His boots made soft whispering noises against the floor, but otherwise he was silent. He knocked quietly on the door, and Morgana opened it, dressed in the same opulent white and gold nightgown she had worn the night before, when he had comforted her in Gaius's chambers.

"Gaius asked me to deliver this," he said, holding out the bottle. He hadn't seen her all day and was unsure of how she'd react to seeing him again.

"I don't need any potion, thank you," she said, a little awkwardly. The door remained open for a moment, and then she spoke again. "Merlin. Ignore what I said last night. I had a nightmare; I was upset." He could see the raw fear in her eyes, hear it in her voice. He couldn't let her continue like this.

"I haven't said anything to anyone," he vowed, looking into her gray eyes. They swam with tears unspilled.

"I'm sorry," she said, turning and striding away from him, towards the table. The door opened wider, and he stepped through it, the lack of formal invitation not bothering him. "It's usually Gwen who has to deal with me when I'm like this."

"I don't mind," Merlin said soothingly. She pulled up short, evidently surprised by his response. "I want to help you."

"Why would you want to risk yourself like that?" she asked bitterly, tossing her head.

"You'd be surprised," he said, closing the door softly. "I understand. I realize how frightening all this must be for you. Especially for you."

"Why especially for me?" she looked over her shoulder at him, suspicion in her eyes.

Merlin shrugged as it it were obvious. "You're the king's ward. You know his hatred of magic better than anyone."

"You think that's what's been happening to me?" she asked, anger and fear battling in her voice and face. "The dreams, the fire, you think it _was_ magic!"

Merlin didn't know quite how to respond. So he decided to go with the truth. He was usually an awful liar anyway, and figured that the truth would be best in this situation anyway. "Yes, Morgana, I think it is magic."

She gasped and turned away from him again to face the window, as though ashamed of what she was incapable of controlling. "What am I going to do?"

The warlock moved across the room until he was standing with his back almost touching hers. Gingerly, he reached around and put the bottle on the table in front of Morgana. He could feel her tense up as she realized just how close he was. "You're going to be fine. I promise. I will be here for you."

"I can't ask you to risk that for me. It's risky enough, you even knowing." Her voice quivered with tears.

"Morgana, I understand what you're going through," he began, but she cut him off.

"How can you possibly understand?" she asked. "What would you know of magic?"

Merlin took a deep, fortifying breath as he prepared himself. He couldn't watch her suffer like that anymore when he had the power to help. He would trust her with his secret as she trusted him with her fears and secrets. No harm could come of it. Only good, in his eyes. She would not betray him. "I went through exactly the same thing when I discovered my magic and the consequences it would hold if I was discovered."

The sharp inhalation from in front of him revealed her shock. "Your what?" she asked, so quietly he could barely hear her.

"My magic. Morgana, you are not alone here. I am with you."

"You have magic?" she asked again, still trying to understand.

"Yes. And it is not evil, as Uther says it is. It can be a force for good. Like a blade or an arrow, magic is in the hands of those who use it. Swords can be used to kill innocent men, as well as protect innocent lives and help those in need. Magic is the same."

Morgana turned around to face him. He stepped back, putting a little more room in between them to prevent awkward contact. "I need time to think, Merlin." He was relieved to see that her tears were gone, replaced by resolve and thought.

"Of course, my lady," the warlock said. "I don't want to push you." He turned to leave, but was recalled by her voice.

"I will keep your secret Merlin, as you keep mine." She knew that he knew that, but she needed to say something, to solidify the bond.

"Thank you, my lady. Good night." Merlin was smiling as he left. Morgana had listened to him without calling the guards or accusing him of being evil. At least she knew that she was not alone.

**Much shorter, I know. But please review! It means so much to me. :)**


	3. Chapter 3: Proof

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I love you all!**

CHAPTER THREE: Proof

"Merlin, why did you take this to Morgana last night?" Gaius asked the next morning, grabbing the boy's shoulder and turning him around as he held up the little bottle with the potion. "Uther found it in her room when he went to see how she was doing this morning."

Merlin flinched as he realized he had left it in Morgana's room by accident. "I used some initiative. I thought you'd be pleased," he hazarded, hoping the physician would leave him alone.

"Merlin. What have you done?" Gaius asked insistently.

"What you refused to," he retorted, whirling to face his guardian. "I helped her!"

"What did you tell her?" When Merlin was silent, Gaius raised his voice and repeated the question. "What did you tell her!"

"Everything," Merlin said defiantly. He knew it wasn't quite true, but he felt the need to break free from Gaius's restrictive rules and feel like a rebel.

"How could you do that?" Gaius asked, appalled. "People's lives are at risk, Morgana's included! This needs to end, though I don't see how you'll manage to pull that off. I told you not to get involved!"

"I had to, because you wouldn't even acknowledge that she had magic!"

"For good reason!"

"No, you don't understand. You don't understand what it's like. The years before I came here were the loneliest of my life."

"Morgana is the king's ward. Her situation is completely different than yours."

"I know! I've got you, she hasn't. Well now, she has me, and I will do for her as you did for me. I will teach her that magic is not a tool for evil and can be used for good and right. I will not abandon her!" Merlin shouted the last sentence, emotions running like wildfire through his veins. "I'd be lost without you, Gaius. And I will not let her be the same."

The physician was silent. "It was dangerous, Merlin. Too dangerous to warrant my approval."

"You understand why I did it though, right?" Merlin asked.

"Yes. And I don't see how you're going to take it back, so just be careful. I still fear the consequences, both for you and her."

Merlin looked at him. "It can't be undone. And I wouldn't want it to." He was silent for a beat. "I need to go. Arthur will be waiting."

###

"Merlin!" Arthur shouted down the hall as Merlin hurried up, his arms laden with armor and chain mail. "Where have you been? Don't you know what time it is?"

"Yes sire, sorry," Merlin panted, dropping the metal with a clatter on the table. "There was a problem with the armor, and I had to-"

"I really don't care, Merlin. Just help me get dressed – I'm late already, thanks to you."

Merlin assisted the prince into his armor then hurried after him down to the training yard. He was expected to spend a couple of hours tidying things up down there before slipping away to help Gaius and clean Arthur's bedchamber.

The knights were already lined up when they arrived, and Arthur went straight to work. Merlin had been at work for about thirty minutes when he noticed Morgana standing on the other side of the yard, her eyes fixed on him. She wore a bright green dress accented in gold, which set her off nicely from the white of the castle wall before which she stood. He gave a little smile and wave, and she picked her way around the edge of the yard to him. Merlin never stopped polishing the sword he held, trying not to draw Arthur's attention. Morgana was already conspicuous enough.

"Merlin. Can you meet me at some point today? I need to talk to you privately."

Merlin looked at her. "Sure. I'm going to clean Arthur's chambers in a little bit. Nobody else should be around then."

Morgana nodded nervously and walked away without saying anything else. Gwen wasn't with her, and Merlin guessed that she had sent her away for the day, or she was doing for Morgana what he was doing for Arthur. He quickly finished his chores and slipped away after Morgana, unnoticed by the prince. When he pushed the door open to Arthur's chambers, he found Morgana sitting in a chair by the table, looking very worried and pale.

"Merlin," she said, standing up as he entered.

"My lady," he said, closing the door. "What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?" He knew that it was best to keep up the pretense of ignorance, in case she ever wanted to withdraw anything she'd said.

"Were you telling the truth?" she asked, her voice hard. "About your magic."

"Yes."

"Prove it."

Merlin didn't question it, but instead raised his hand, palm facing the fireplace. "_B__æ__rne_." Flames burst to life in the wood, crackling as though they had been burning for hours.

Morgana jumped. Magic was clearly still scary for her, despite her knowledge that she possessed it in some form. "You do have magic. How have you survived this long? Where are you learning magic?"

"I've had magic since I was born, but only recently have I been able to control it." Merlin stepped closer, and Morgana's eyes shifted from the fire to him.

"Can you help me?" she asked, her voice a near whisper with fear.

"What do you want to know?"

"Why can I see the future in my dreams and start fires with my mind?"

Merlin sighed and moved to stand opposite her, across the table. "There are very few who can do this. It is magic, but there is no need to fear it. It will be a long time before you can fully understand it. I've been studying for years and still haven't learned a hundredth of what there is to know. It is a gift, Morgana. Not a curse. This isn't something to be afraid of." His eyes bored into her as he tried to reassure her with his words.

Morgana rolled her eyes. "It is if you have Uther as you're guardian. As you said, if he found out he'd have me killed, and you as well." Her voice began to shake as she spoke of the possibilities.

"He won't find out," Merlin said, as forcefully as he could.

"But if he did-" she began in terror.

Merlin cut her off. "I won't let that happen to you. I will keep you safe. We should pity Uther more than fear him." His heart clenched at the thought of what could happen to her if she was discovered. Already he feared losing her.

Morgana snorted, anger taking its place alongside fear. "Why pity him? He has killed hundreds of people like us. He continues to kill."

Merlin spoke what he had been thinking for months. Gaius wouldn't have cared, and he had had no one to tell but himself. "He does that because he is consumed with fear. Hatred drives goodness out of his heart. You and I though, we have it inside of us, no matter what he says."

Morgana thought this over. "I've always been told that magic is evil. That it corrupts your soul."

Merlin smiled genuinely, partially at her misguided beliefs and partially because her saying it like that meant that she was ready to question it. "Just because Uther decrees it, doesn't make it so. I mean, look at me! I'm doing just fine, and it's because I am not evil at heart. You aren't either. Magic is no dark art."

Morgana gave him a weak smile. "I'm glad you're here, Merlin."

A crashing sound came from the other side of the door as Arthur dropped his shield on his return to his chambers. He cursed loudly, and Merlin and Morgana jumped. "You'd better go," Merlin said. "Before Arthur catches you in here."

"MERLIN!" the prince roared from the hallway.

"Wait!" Morgana said as Merlin took her arm and hustled her to the servant's door. It was the only way to get her out of Arthur's chambers without him noticing. "When will we be able to speak again?"

Merlin looked at her, his hands on her shoulders. She looked scared to her core, but ready to take on the world at the same time. He remembered how terrifying all of this must be for her, and impulsively reached up to brush a strand of dark hair out of her eyes. "Soon." He gave her a little push, and she dashed off along the servant's hallway just as Arthur shoved the door open.

"Merlin! Haven't you been hearing me call you?" he asked in exasperation.

"Um, no, sire. Are you sure you've been calling me?"

"_Yes,_ Merlin," the price snapped irritably. "Now help me out of this." Grinning to himself, Merlin began to unstrap the pieces of metal from Arthur's body.

###

The next day, as Merlin traveled the corridors after completing his deliveries for Gaius, he was abruptly whirled around as a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him into a dark crevice. Morgana looked up at him through long lashes. "Merlin, can you come to my room tonight?" she asked quietly. "I want to talk to you."

"Sure," he said without hesitation. "When?"

"Whenever you can." She looked strong, not fearful and desperate. It gave her a striking beauty, especially in the half-light of their current location.

"I'll see you then."

She smiled with relief. "Excellent."

"Right now I have to check on Arthur, I think he's going to tell me to muck out the stables again." He smiled back at her.

"Of course," she said, letting go of his arm. She watched him as his back retreated down the hallway.

Later that night, she heard a quiet knocking on her door. "Merlin. Come in," she said, stepping back and holding the door open. The tall young man entered and stood right beside the door as she shut it with a soft click.

"How are you doing?" Merlin asked, searching her face.

She took a deep breath. "Having you has made everything easier, Merlin. Having someone I can trust and confide in takes so much weight off my shoulders. I don't feel insane anymore. Thank you."

Merlin smiled. "That's great, but you didn't ask me here just to tell me that."

"No." Morgana turned and walked away from him, over to the window overlooking the courtyard. "I want to learn to use my magic. Like you know. Can you teach me?"

Merlin laughed softly and she whirled back around, defensiveness making her stand straighter. "I thought you'd never ask," Merlin said, and she relaxed.

"When do you want to start?" she asked, dropping the prickly look and posture.

"Why not now?" he asked, moving to stand beside her.

"Oh." Morgana took another deep breath. "Sure."

"Let's start with fire. It's one of the easiest spells and the most useful." Merlin blew out one of the candles that sat on her table. " The word is 'bærne'," he told her. "Speak with purpose and intent, like you expect it to light."

Morgana stood next to him and raised a hand, palm flat towards the candle. "Do I have to stand like this?" she asked, feeling a little foolish.

"No, but it's easiest in the beginning. Try," he encouraged.

"_B__æ__rne_," Morgana said, without much conviction. It was clear that she was scared. Magic had been the great evil since she was little, so it was clear that she wouldn't take to it easily. Though she had magic, it was new and unpredictable, and thus scary.

"It's okay, Morgana," Merlin said, moving up behind her. "The magic is a part of you. It won't hurt you."

She took a deep breath before trying again, more assuredly this time. "_B__æ__rne._" Her eyes flashed gold and a small flame sputtered into life in the candle. She smiled, relaxing her stance.

"I knew you could do it," Merlin said kindly.

She turned around, seemingly startled at Merlin's closeness, but she didn't move away. Her eyes shone up at him, and he leaned forward impulsively, his lips finding hers. She didn't move away, but pushed against him in response. Her arms wrapped themselves around him and his fingers became tangled in her long, loose dark hair.

It felt right. The magic, the kiss. It felt more than right. It felt perfect.

**Okay... sorry if it feels like it's moving a little quickly... but I didn't feel like there was much to say, especially because of what happens in Morgana's Revenge. So I hope you liked it! Please review – I really like to know what you think of it! If you do I will love you forever. :)**


	4. Chapter 4: Romance

**I love all of you who review. You're the best people ever. And thank you so much for the alerts/favorites. You are awesome too. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. :)**

CHAPTER FOUR: Romance

The days went by more quickly after that. Merlin and Morgana spent a great deal of time together. She would saddle her horse and ride into the forest, and he would tell Gaius that he was gathering herbs when he joined her. After her initial fear, she had progressed quickly, and pushed him beyond his own limits. She didn't know of his book, and he wanted to keep it that way. It was safer for her.

Morgana couldn't remember when she'd been this happy. Her nightmares were happening less often, but she still requested the sleeping draft, just so she would have more of a reason to see Merlin. It was he who had begun to deliver the bottles, instead of Gaius.

Sometimes he would bring her flowers that he'd picked himself from the gardens or the woods, and she would put them into a vase on her table and smile to herself whenever she looked at them. This couldn't last long, of course. They risked being caught at every turn. Slowly though, their relationship turned from being slightly romantic and steeped in magic to being slightly magical and steeped in romance. Morgana found herself wanting to see Merlin every moment of the day. She became a regular fixture on the practice field when Arthur would drill his knights.

In the evenings, he would sneak out of his room and go to hers, and they would talk for hours about their lives and practice magic quietly. Sometimes he would spend the night there, with Morgana cradled in his arms. If she woke up screaming, he would hold her tightly while she cried into his chest. She didn't understand why she loved him the way she loved him. He was new, he was beautiful, and he cared for her. Perhaps that was why. Ever since she had hit puberty the eyes of men had followed her as she walked down corridors and danced at balls, but they had never wanted to get to know her as Merlin wanted to.

She smiled as she remembered how she used to size each young lord and knight up as they did the same to her. Sometimes she would tease them, flirt with them, convince them to fall in love with her, then abandon them. It was a game she had enjoyed playing. It gave her control over them, and control was necessary in a life of court intrigue, which was what she had always seen in her future. But her views were changing. Instead she wanted a life with Merlin, a life with love. Morgana had never imagined that she could feel that way about someone, or that someone could feel that way about her. When she was younger she had thought that Arthur might, but as she matured, she realized that their relationship was one of platonic love, like siblings.

Whenever she saw Merlin, her heart seemed to swell. It was torture to keep her eyes off of him when others were around. They couldn't risk being caught. If that happened, Uther would surely kill him, or banish him and not listen to reason. So all they had were stolen hours and secret moments when nobody would catch them.

One night, as they sat in Morgana's chambers, she voiced her feelings. "I wish we could be together, Merlin. Where everyone could see us."

"I know. But it's too dangerous. And wouldn't everyone watch us, looking for missteps?"

"I'm not ashamed!" she said, standing up and walking to the window. Merlin followed her and put his arms around her, gazing down into the square.

"I didn't think you were," he soothed. "And I'm certainly not. Who would be, with such a beautiful woman?"

She smiled and leaned back against him. "I wish things were different."

"Me too."

###

Months passed. Their love grew stronger as their relationship progressed. Sometimes Morgana would round corners in the castle and find Merlin waiting for her, a little flower in his fingers. He would kiss her, wind the flower into her hair, and let her pass. Other times she would fit herself into a nook, and grab his sleeve as he walked past, pulling him tightly against her in the shadows of the castle. There was not a day that they did not have contact.

She learned of his past in Ealdor, and all he had done for Arthur. She felt that he was holding something back, but didn't push it for fear of losing him. Along with his stories, she poured her heart out to him about her past. What it had been like to lose her mother, then her father, then move all the way to Camelot. It was when he had held her for an hour while she cried at the remembered loss of her father that she had realized something. She wanted to marry Merlin. She wanted to be with him forever, raise children together.

One night she confessed this to Merlin as they lay together in her bed. She slid one hand along his bare chest, reveling in the feel of his skin. His thumb caressed her bare shoulder, eyes closed in contentment.

"Merlin, I want to marry you," she whispered into the dark.

"What?" he mumbled, shifting a little.

"I want to marry you. I want to be with you forever. I want to have children with you. I love you." Her voice grew louder.

Merlin opened his azure eyes and looked at her. "What about Uther?" he asked.

"I don't care about him. My love for you is stronger than anything he can do to us. He will see sense, I know it."

No matter how Merlin tried to persuade her that it was a bad idea, she wouldn't listen. That was part of what had attracted him to her: her stubbornness. But now he feared that it would destroy them. Neither of their magical skills were developed enough to effectively get both of them away from Camelot, and he knew that Uther would not let his beloved ward marry a mere serving boy. Yet nothing he did dissuaded her. He thought about breaking up with her, but knew that she would never buy it, and he couldn't see her hurt. No matter how crazy she ended up being, he could never bring himself to hurt her.

A week passed as Morgana worked on her speech to Uther. She needed it to be perfect. She knew that he would be difficult to convince, but was sure of her abilities. If he loved her as much as he claimed to, he would respect her wishes.

One morning, she dressed especially nicely and sent Gwen away early before heading down to Gaius's chambers. Merlin sat at the table, a bowl of porridge in front of him.

"And then I need you to go to the market and get me some rosemary," Gaius was saying as Merlin nodded. "Oh, hello, Morgana. How may I help you?" he asked as she opened the door.

"Merlin needs to come with me," she said, fixing her eyes on the young man. "We are going to speak to the king."

"Why?" Gaius asked, but he got no response. Morgana had turned and left, Merlin right behind her, murmuring to her.

"Morgana please, think about this. Uther may not listen."

She ignored him, instead striding regally through the corridors to the council chambers. The doors stood open, and she moved through them swiftly. Uther sat alone on the large chair that functioned as a throne, looking over a set of papers. "Ah, Morgana," he greeted her. "How are you this morning?" he asked.

"I wish to speak to you, my lord. It is a matter of the utmost importance."

"Of course, my dear. What is it?" he leaned back and smiled indulgently.

"I wish to marry," Morgana said without preamble. Merlin blinked. He had expected some sort of lead in, and from where he stood behind Morgana, he could see that Uther had as well.

"You wish to marry?" Uther asked incredulously. "And who might this man be, who has captured your heart without any of us noticing? Or do you want me to find you a suitable husband?"

Morgana shook her long hair back and looked haughtily at him. "I have fallen in love. He's kind and thoughtful, and he listens to me. I need you to seriously consider him though you might be inclined to deny my request right off."

"Who is it?" Uther asked, trepidation showing in his voice.

"Merlin," Morgana said, looking over her shoulder at her lover. "I am in love with Merlin."

Uther stared at her in disbelief for a moment, then began to laugh. "Please, Morgana," he said through his chuckles. "I don't have time for these kinds of jokes, no matter how amusing you may find them."

Morgana looked angrily at him. "I am not joking, my lord. I want to marry Merlin."

Uther stopped laughing as he slowly realized that his ward was being serious. "But this boy is a servant. You are a lady. It is not proper."

"So what?" she asked. "I am in love with him, and he is a good, kind, man." Merlin stepped forward and made as though to put a hand on her shoulder.

"Do not touch her!" Uther yelled, and the servant froze. "Guards, seize him!" A pair of knights came clanking in and grabbed Merlin. One of them fit a gag into his mouth, preventing him from speaking up in his defense.

"What are you doing?" Morgana asked, shocked. "Let him go, he has done nothing wrong!"

"He has defiled the name of my house by involving himself with you. You are never to see him again," the king pronounced, turning his head.

"But why?" Morgana was fuming with anger that he would not listen to her. He claimed to love her, so why did he not want her to be with the man she loved no matter his rank. Was his pride so overwhelming that he would not even see what was right before his eyes? "Why can I not be with him?" Morgana asked furiously, glaring at Uther, who sat coolly in his throne as though nothing was going on. His face was turned away, his chin resting on his fist. "I am in love with him, and he with me. Do you not want me to be happy?"

**And this is exactly where Morgana's Revenge begins. Now if you already haven't – go read it! You know... if you want to.**

**So that's the end of this story (super short, I know), but if you liked it, keep an eye out for whatever I happen to publish next! It might be awhile, cuz life is happening, but still. It will be out there at some point. :) **

**Please review! Your feedback is always welcome and it makes me very happy. If you haven't reviewed yet, please do. Just one or two words to tell me what you thought of it is the best thing you could do. Ever. :)**


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